Stories

Kin Lane

Municipal Pneumatic Dig Dug Boring Company Investment Sought

I am looking for 150 million dollars from you to get this thing off the ground. Think Elon Musk’s Boring company, but instead of digging underground tubes for human transport, we are looking to bore smaller tunnels underneath metro areas to install a robust pneumatic tube system. We are looking to be the last mile package delivery for the metro areas. We have warehouses on the outskirts of the top 25 largest cities, and we just need to install the last mile of pneumatic tubes for package d...
Kin Lane

Keep Building As Many APIs as You Need and We Will Make Sense of It

You have 5 times the number of APIs you thought you did after doing the last census. You now have 760K APIs in operation across the enterprise with a rate of new APIs being deployed around 40+ per week. I know that you are feeling like you should put the brakes on this until you get your digital resource sprawl under control, but I am here to be the voice of reason. There are good reasons why you are developing this many APIs. Do not get in the way of teams when it comes to their innovatio...
Kin Lane

Sentinel APIs

Like most Internet technologies, APIs began as something intended to help augment us humans, but over time they became something that changed, altered, and forever doomed us as human beings through a million digital cuts to our uniquely human soul. Originally known as application programming interfaces back at the beginning of the century, the technical description was shortened to simply API, but along the way APIs were weaponized to not just augment us, but consume us, and reduce every a...
Kin Lane

I Am Responsible For This Messed Up Timeline We Find Ourselves In

I now remember the evening that set all of this in motion. When the fracture in the space time continuum occurred. From my position this is when I started down this timeline, but guess y’all are along for the ride as well. Chad, Toby, Ramon and I had decided to eat some acid. It was some fresh album cover acid Chad and Toby had gotten from their cousins. We ripped it up into four separate chunks and each began chewing on our wad of paper. We had mostly forgotten that we ate it once it star...
Kin Lane

The Facial Recognition Network Has Exposed That There Are Only So Many Souls to Go Around

At about 60% global coverage for facial recognition network is where we began to suspect there was something else going on. However, it was until about 90% global coverage were we able to verify that some people are in fact the same people, cloned souls, or however you want to put it. It began with an increase in the number of mistaken identity cases, and then it became visible at scale once there was a global incarceration network, and we began sending facial recognition matches to the sa...
Kin Lane

I Caught Myself Flickering in the Mirror Late Thursday Night

I spend a lot of time working late. 11:00 PM to 3:00 AM is prime coding time. Even after working a 10 hour day at my job, I am usually working 4-6 hours late into the night on any one of my side projects. Last week my girlfriend had bought a new mirror and put it by the bathroom door in our bedroom, perfectly placed to reflect myself back to me as a sat at my bedroom office desk. I regularly noticed myself out of the corner of my eye, but I hadn’t really given the mirror much thought. A co...
Kin Lane

Autocompleting The Meaning Behind My Messages

It was my teenage daughter and her cousin who first brought it to my attention. She was texting to him on the couch, and then looked over his shoulder to read what she had just sent to him. She exclaimed, “that is not what I said!” Then she looked at her phone and in fact it was what she had written. I asked her how the message was different. She said it was mostly what she had written, but had one or two words that were different. I dismissed it as an autocorrect error-—it happens to us a...
Kin Lane

Stirring Up Some Business Down There

No baby. I’m just the carrier, but every time I do the pick up, I do end up having to spend a whole afternoon with the blowhard. Telling me how much money they are raking in operating the border camps, and all you have to do is leak a story to the press about how crowded things, and you can ask for more money to increase capacity. This administrations stance on immigration has been a huge boost to the private detention center industry, but more importantly the underground market which I’m ...
Kin Lane

We Outsource All Of Our Defect Development

We have 3rd party development shops that deliver our defective solutions. When we identify an opportunity for “accidentally” grabbing audio, video, or other data, we make sure a 3rd party development shop has their finger prints all over it. There are plenty of web, mobile, device, and network development shops out there who are hungry for contracts, which are also easily infiltrated by seemingly low-level staff ho can assist us in ensuring that the defects we are looking for exist within ...
Kin Lane

The Rogue Tech Employee Training Academy

Not everyone has the guts to be honest about what the future will hold. Not everyone in this country has a bright future, and some are better off burning out instead of facing the dark future that is in store for them. The individuals who are attracted to drugs at this moment in time are the same individuals who will cost society money down the road when it comes to prison, healthcare, other services. Preemptive, phased in, slow build executions are the most logical, and efficient way to d...
Kin Lane

Marty McFly Syndrome Hits 60% Of The Population

We never quite fully understood our physical self before we set out defining our digital self. There appears to be a lot more to our physical self than what we knew, and with 60% of the population suffering from what has been dubbed, “Marty McFly Syndrome”, we are unsure if we will ever actually fully be able to reverse the clock. The syndrome has nothing to do with time travel, or changing the course of time (maybe), it has more do with the role that being seen by others plays into the ph...
Kin Lane

Preemptive Executions Are Just An Honest View Of What Is To Come

Not everyone has the guts to be honest about what the future will hold. Not everyone in this country has a bright future, and some are better off burning out instead of facing the dark future that is in store for them. The individuals who are attracted to drugs at this moment in time are the same individuals who will cost society money down the road when it comes to prison, healthcare, other services. Preemptive, phased in, slow build executions are the most logical, and efficient way to d...
Kin Lane

Elon Musk Solves The Water Crisis In Flint Michigan In One Month

It has been one month since Elon Musk vowed to go into Flint, Michigan and solve the water crisis once and for all. The tech billionaire said he had enough when it came to the community not having access to clean water. The city’s water criss first started in 2014 when the drinking water source for the city was changed from Lake Huron and the Detroit River to the cheaper Flint River–due to insufficient water treatment, lead leached from the lead water pipes into the drinking water, exposin...
Kin Lane

The New Corporate Hustle Algorithm

Dan from IT has released a new version of the corporate hustle application, with a whole new algorithm directing our spontaneous activity throughout the day. This is version 3.0 of the application after our company adopted the Density system across all corporate locations. Pushing back on management putting Density units in every room, hallway, stairwell, and lobby across all 10 of our buildings, tracking the activity and density that exists across our...
Kin Lane

The GraphQL Book Query Language (GQLBQL)

GQBQL is the new reading! Are you tired of hour after hour, and day after day of having to read books? All that wasted time reading words. Well, the GraphQL Book Query Language (GQLBQL) is for you. It is the fastest way to distill down any book and get exactly what you want without having to waste your time reading it. GQLBQL give you single URL that allows you to submit a query and get the version of the book you want, returning only the words, sentences, and paragraphs you desire, saving...
Kin Lane

Seven Years Of Dispatches From Front Lines Of The API Description Wars

APIs are how cyber warfare is waged. APIs are how business, government, institutions, and individuals are being targeted, infiltrated, and indoctrinated as part of the millions of cyber war skirmishes occurring around the globe in 2017. These are some of my stories from the last seven years on the front lines of this war, documenting how these cyber militias are planning, mapping out, communicating, and executing their attacks in this new form of warfare.
Kin Lane

Grand Theft Uber

We launched new game this week called Grand Theft Uber, where you get to drive around over 25 cities across the globe, playing Uber in a variety of different game modes. When you first download the game you are in the default game level, and it increases in complexity as you ascend (or descend) into different levels, de...
Kin Lane

Patent Storytelling #DesignFiction

I am a patent storyteller. I craft and file patents that are in the speculative, moonshot, design fiction, science fiction, and storyteller categories. These patents aren't mean to describe an actual product line. They are purely intended to boost the profile of our client company's patent catalog and get people talking about them. Back in 2005, I ...
Kin Lane

Racial Bias In Algorithm & Color Blind Facial Recognition Targets White Minority #DesignFiction

Algorithmic policing using facial recognition technology has been in place in 98% of police departments in the United States for almost 11 years now. The full report about the last decade has become available, and the results have clearly been devastating to the white population. Due to arrest decisions being made 100% algorithmically, and t...
Kin Lane

The Money Is In Selling Access To Unsecured Devices Not The Devices #DesignFiction

I am telling you that all you need is for each of your devices to respond to your presale validation requests and you can sell it many times over, to a variety of cybersecurity players. You can sell to the Chinese, to the Russian, a variety of rogue actors, and even to some researchers and news outlets. The money in all of this isn't in the m...
Kin Lane

The Invasion Began In The 19th Century With Early Radio Waves #DesignFiction

From what we now know, the invasion began in the early 20th century, with early signals sent to our invaders via experimentation in radio waves in the mid 19th century. Early forms of communication did not draw their attention like the signals we sent by radio, television, telephone, the Internet, and cellular technology. Each wave of technology...
Kin Lane

Fees For IoT Device Security Violations Are Automatic #DesignFiction

When you purchase your security camera, router, printer, or other potentially Internet-connected device and plug it in on your network, you will have to complete its activation. When you purchased your IoT device, this was just the first half of the activation sequence, once you get connected to your network, you will need to execute the second hal...
Kin Lane

We Offer A Redundant Proxy For The Facebook Live API #DesignFiction

Use our API proxy for your mobile video applications instead of directly connecting to Facebook Live API. The proxy ensures your video is uploaded to Facebook Live, as well as up to 10 other locations, depending on how important syndication is to you. With the numerous claims against Facebook regarding censorship of videos we know we can't ...
Kin Lane

Complete RF Scanning Coverage Where You Need Using Drones #DesignFiction

Our fleets of drone deployed radio frequency (RF) spectrum scanners can be deployed as a cohesive mesh, producing 100% scanning coverage wherever you need them--within an hour. Each drone logs everything. All signals are recorded and synced with the cloud in real-time, where our systems get to work iden...
Kin Lane

Waze For Drones #DesignFiction

We are the Waze for drones. Instead of routing cars and trucks we provide routing options for the commercial drone industry. Drone routing adds another critical dimension to the process--elevation. What fixed objects are in the way, like buildings, bridges, and trees. What temporary objects are in the way like cranes, cables, and other d...