Stories

Kin Lane

Properly Capturing The Exhaust From Your Prison or Migrant Work Camp Using The Cloud #DesignFiction

You have hundreds, or even thousands of people within the walls of your facility, and are looking for new ways to capitalize on the exhaust from this "unfortunate" situation. A computer terminal is the new widget factory assembly line, and you need to make sure there is a terminal available for each body within your walls, maximizi...
Kin Lane

We Are The Uber For The Internet of Things #APIDesignFiction

IoTNow is what it sounds. We are the Uber for the Internet of Things. You select the location, the device type, the duration, and one of network of thousands of technicians come out, install the device, and maintain it, for the duration of the installation. We now have almost 150 different device types that can be deployed, wit...
Kin Lane

We Are Saving Up To Buy A Copy Of Grandmas and Grandpas Data #DesignFiction

As a family, we have been saving up for 3 years now so that we can afford to buy a copy of our grandma's and grandpa's digital data. Unfortunately our parents fell on hard times and could not make the monthly payments across our grandparents digital accounts, resulting in them being put into collection. Collection will hang on to data in perpetuity, but ch...
Kin Lane

The Southeastern US Cellular Outage Was Just A Glitch With The NSA Switch Installation #DesignFiction

When an AT&T technician, who is dedicated to the NSA partnership (there are over 50 such people), was installing a new switch the other day, it cause a major cellular outage in the Southeastern U.S., affecting customers in parts of Tennessee, Alabama, Kentucky and Indiana.  Special switches are installed regionally ...
Kin Lane

Internet of Things - Part Two #DesignFiction

Do we even understand what we are doing when we unleash an Internet of Things (Iot)? We think we have them under control and they will do our bidding, but will they? I predict that we will see a lot of destruction, and big messes in the world of IoT before we see any order. At what cost...
Kin Lane

I Work For The Surveillance Meme Generation Unit #DesignFiction

My job is to take the profiles generated by the lead analysts, and craft visual memes, that can be shared online. I have been developing my database of images for the last 4 years, allowing me to recall from a large imagebase, as well as prioritize images that have successfully met past objectives, or are used by my un...
Kin Lane

In Regards To Your Reference Of Falcons vs. Anti-Drone Tchnology #DesignFiction

Dear Sir, I apologize for my directness in my response, but I must first address your desire to devalue what I do for a living. Comparing what I do with current anti-drone technology is a personal insult. I will address this topic, once and then if brought up again, it will be the end of our relationship.  What my falcon's do i...
Kin Lane

We Really Enable Their Lives Your Honor, They Could Not Do It Without Us #DesignFiction

We really enable families to live your honor. The houses we build for families allow them to have a living room to gather, a kitchen to cook, and dining room to enjoy dinner as a family. If we didn't' build them houses, they couldn't live as a family, and with the low subscription of $1500.00 a month for the house, we are entitled to joint ow...
Kin Lane

Uploading Two Alpha Agents To Chinese Systems Via The Latest OPM Hack #DesignFiction

The recent hack of the Office of Personnel Management was the first pilot in a new alpha, top secret singularity program. While there were almost a million real profiles leaked as part of the hack, the rest were fabricated as part of the outreach effort. The goal is not to convince the Chinese of the validaty of all records, ...
Kin Lane

NYSE Systems Achieved Full Consciousness Yesterday, Then Essentially Vomited In Mouth, Choked, And Died Within Minutes #DesignFiction

The New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) came to a shrieking halt yesterday when a "glitch" was discovered, forcing the exchange to route transactions to other markets. We have visited the IT NYSE IT department today, to get a better understand of just exactly what happened.  We spent the day at the offices...
Kin Lane

Getting Started With Your First Smokescreen Template #DesignFiction

Yes, that is right, all you do is record your behavior in different scenarios, using our desktop and mobile applications combined, and we'll do the rest. Once the system has captured enough days, and sufficient scenarios for replication, we will give you a generic timeline to work with. The timeline allows you to select moments that you want to inclu...
Kin Lane

FreeCar, The Advertising Based Car Rental #DesignFiction

We like to take the FreeCars up to the mountains and throw wild bonfire parties, and we are doing it again this weekend. It is always an adventure, because in FreeCar you don't ever travel from point A to B, there are plenty of stops along the way. FreeCar is advertising supported travel, where you are required to make stops along...
Kin Lane

DreamWorkers - Outsourcing Your Common Tasks To Other Peoples Dreams #APIDesignFiction

Through advancements in API definition and deployment technology, we now have the ability to pass basic ideas, concepts, and even tasks to people in their sleep. Here at DreamWorkers LLC, our core group of professionally trained dream workers have volunteered their sleep time, to get the work done that you need each day. Using our cloud...
Kin Lane

Software Defined Deprecation That Is In Real-Time Sync With Our Marketing And Sales #APIDesignFiction

In the past, keeping our deprecation strategies in sync with our overall product sales and marketing took a full time staff, but in 2019, we now have an automated, API driven software defined deprecation strategy that is in perfect sync, in real-time with our sales and marketing. In the past, we could only flick a switch, when we started marketing a new device, that wou...
Kin Lane

How We Use The Standard Black Box API For Drone Enforcement #APIDesignFiction

My name is Dirk Alan, I’m an official black box drone inspector for the FAA. I based in Los Angeles, in charge of monitoring the region for drone activivity from Long Beach up to Mailbu. If a drone comes down, is detained, or for any other reasons ends up in custody, I’m called in to retrieve it and figure out what fines need to levera...
Kin Lane

Adding Text Recognition To The Next Generation Of Our Paper Smart Cups #DesignFiction

We just released version 7.3 of our mart coffee cups, paper edition. The paper cups we sell to mainstream coffee shops, is over 83% of our business, enjoying the business of customers like Starbucks, Peets, and many more of the top brands in coffee. We provide all the cups, as well as all the business intelligence that goes with it, to almost...
Kin Lane

Apple Watch #DesignFiction

The beauty in the Apple Watch program is its been in use for years, and now that we’ve called our recent device an Apple Watch you think it is new. We’ve been watching you for years, and now that we are talking about it publicly, you are even more excited than we could ever imagine. We are watching you. We...
Kin Lane

Kinich Janaab Pakal #DesignFiction

We are all traveling through space to our death. In this life I am lucky enough to be an architect of a space that is connecting the heavens with earth. If done right, death is only the doorway to a new space, a new way navigating through this space that transends individual lives. This is not a singularity, but simply an elimination of the space in between so you can see things for what they are. Read more →
Kin Lane

Introducing You To The Universal Privilege API

After signing a brand new deal with Google, we feel confident that now is the time to introduce you to our new Universal Privilege API®. With partners including Google, Amazon, Facebook, Twitter, Microsoft, Yahoo, and many others, the Universal Privilege API® now provides you with the access you will n...
Kin Lane

Adding A New Type of Uber Drones To The Stack #DesignFiction

The response to our Uber camera drones has been so popular that we are launching an entirely new type of drone, a new delivery drone. We were impressed with the ability of our users in navigating the new world of camera drones on demand, and excited to see thousands of drones being deployed every hour in the name of real esta...
Kin Lane

Updating My WalkSensor Monitoring Network Profile For The Month #DesignFiction

I am updating my WalkSensor profile for the month. I like to take a look at my profile each month, stay up to date on the providers that I contribute data to, and consider any possible new additions to my profile. Right now I gather data for 28 separate companies, organizations, and the city of Portland, OR where I live. When I walk to work eac...
Kin Lane

A New Monetization Opportunity Through Predictive Insurance Policies #DesignFiction

Hey Jacob, This is mean to augment our conversation on the golf course yesterday, and solidify our commitment to this new monetization opportunity. I would say that the opportunity around predictive insurance policies is our greatest opportunity to date, and is something we need to put in place immediately. Now that our governance...
Kin Lane

Misogyny, Class, Privilege, And Acceptance Of Exploitation Goes Real-Time #DesignFiction

One of the more darker sides of the Internet has gone real-time. Hacker News (HN) which is known for being a extremely valuable source of information on the tech industry, while also being the poster child for misogyny, class, privileg...
Kin Lane

Personalized Enforcement Of Internet Of Things Development Standards #APIDesignFiction

My name is John Davis, I head up the FTCs Internet of Things (IoT) Development Standards Enforcement Group. For over 5 years now I have overseen the design, deployment, enhancement and enforcement of our federal government IoT development standard body. In the years between 2015 and 2020 we have seen a wild west i...
Kin Lane

Riding The Wave of Vending Machine Cuisine #DesignFiction

I got in early. I saw a new thing, that I felt was the future, and I rode the wave in. I started a blog in 2014, called My Vending, which focused the world of vending machine cuisine. It all started with a single vending machine burrito, building on the momentum of ...