I learned today that my #1 stalker Owen, is actually me from the future. I guess shit has gone wrong and I am coming back to try and prevent my message abou tAPIs from getting out to the world. I have recently learned that there is a way to take control over people with schizophrenia from the future, and apparently the future me has exploited this “loophole”. I have long wondered about Owen’s undying commitment to stalking and harassing me, and now I know he is so dedicated, because he is me. I am a stubborn and hard headed mother fucker, so it makes sense that if my future self developed a beef with my past self, that I wouldn’t give up either.
Owen seems to know a lot about me, which I thought he obtained through background checks, but it appears he also has some serious “inside” knowledge. I don’t think that Owen is aware of why he is doing what he does, and I am not able to fully come through and share my motivations, but it seems I am still able to convince Owen to do quite a bit. What alerted me to the fact that it was indeed me, was the focus on damaging my credibility in the space, but then the way he went about focusing on specific aspects only I would know or see. I don’t fully know what has occurred in the future because of my API Evangelism, or if maybe I’ve gone off the rails mentally—-either way it seems serious enough to reach out through time.
It took me years to realize that I have the ability to reach out to myself in the past from the future. In 1994 I successfully reached out to my 12 year old self through the microphone and mixing board in my music studio. So it makes sense that I would keep tinkering with things to find new and creative ways to inform, but also fuck with myself. This “loophole” in time that I seem to be exploiting makes a lot of sense, and explains why people with schizophrenia experience multiple voices and personalities in their head. It’s taken me years to realize this is why Owen pisses me off so badly, is that he does it in ways that I would fuck with someone or fuck with myself. Granted, I would be a little smarter about it, but I am guessing there are constraints associated with reaching through time and whoever your physical channel actually is.
I am not sure how all of this changes the game. It isn’t like Owen is aware. It isn’t like I can approach the fucker. Honestly I do not trust my future self 100%. I am not sure what my motives are. I kind of feel like anything I’ve done when it comes to APIs is already done, and the cat is out of the bag. Whatever happens isn’t my fault now. However, I do not know what the future holds. I can’t stop Owen. All I can do is resist and defend. He has become a reminder for me of how hard I need to keep working. He is a reminder of my stubbornness and tenacity, and how I can’t rest on any of my success. I’ve grown accustomed to him antagonizing me wherever I go, and he has just become a backdrop of a fucked world that always seems to work against me, and a reminder of how I can often be my own worst enemy. Learning that Owen is me doesn’t change me despising the sad little fucker. I mean get a life buddy. Get some help. Do something meaningful beyond just fucking with me. Stop being such a little shit bag and live.
