{"Alternate Kin Lane"}

This Is Fiction!

We Do Not Fear Disruption, Startups Are The Perfect Vehicle For Outsourcing All Risk #DesignFiction

We were only worried about startup disruption for about 30 seconds. Only because they popped up off of our radar, and achieved more than we ever imagined. Once we noticed they were "disrupting" some industries, we got to work yanking on the chains of their investors. Anyone who believes that startups can "disrupt", is a friend of mine, and one of the most important "tools" in our toolbox--spreading the gospel, and doing our bidding in a very unforgiving environment.

Early on, dropping a couple hundred million for a startup, to shut them up, slow them down is what you did. However through the yanking of the chain of their investors, and through the processing reverse engineering a few of our earliest acquisitions, we've learned they are the perfect vehicle for outsourcing all of our corporate risk. Think of them like financial products, but of a more technical variety. We can fucking hide anything with a group of 30 kids, a ping pong table, and a single page web site, at a .io domain. 

With a startup we can say and do anything we want, avoid the gaze of regulators, and law enforcement. Young white men have always been mold-able, and eager to please, but this latest crop is a special kind of stupid, and entitled -- they will fucking do anything we tell them.  They will engage in surveillance, disrupt, and sell themselves out for nothing, just the promise that some day they might even be considered, for a possible opportunity to join the club--fucking fools. 

Today, we are just getting more strategic with not just our acquisitions, but our investments through our legions of investment facades. Often we'll acquire our own investments, you just do not see it because its hidden through such a mess of holding companies, and venture groups. If we need intelligence on a competitor we will craft the perfect startup that they'll want, well drive up their valuation, and make them an irresistible acquisition target -- only to have 15 of the dumbest kids you can imagine embedded with our tech, in their organization.

We've long hid much of what we do by using corporate fronts, but startups are providing us with the unprecedented ability off outsource risk, and diffuse any responsibility and accountability within these little startup bundles of joy. A startup can make all the promises in the world to their customers, even pushing into illegal territory, while providing us wth the perfect way to defuse any negative outcomes -- shit we can even acquire them after they've wreaked havoc, and be seen as goddam heroes!

Worried about startup disruption? So fucking laughable. Like complex financial products, startups are one of the most important tools in our toolbox. We can get away with almost anything, in any jurisdiction, while offloading all risk, and hiding all fingerprints that we were ever involved. Its the kids that absorb everything. The best part is they truly believe they are actually going to "disrupt", bring change to the world, and get rich. It is the perfect vehicle for outsourcing risk in the modern business climate.