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This Is Fiction!

Seven Years Of Dispatches From Front Lines Of The API Description Wars

APIs are how cyber warfare is waged. APIs are how business, government, institutions, and individuals are being targeted, infiltrated, and indoctrinated as part of the millions of cyber war skirmishes occurring around the globe in 2017. These are some of my stories from the last seven years on the front lines of this war, documenting how these cyber militias are planning, mapping out, communicating, and executing their attacks in this new form of warfare.

I was sent to the front line of the API description wars in July 2010. Battles were heating up and there was a need for someone to be covering the front lines, documenting how this new type of warfare was being waged. Much like computer origins in World War II, where encryption and compute capacity were central to planning, communicating, executing attacks, APIs are how the submarines of the Internet age that are attacking shipping convoys, and how the looting of gold, art, and other riches are being dispatched–a distributed Enigma for a new type of warfare that was born out of the technology of the last world war, but retooled for a new century of warfare.

In the early days, API attacks were carried out using WSDL, an XML format for describing each networked attacks as a set of targeting endpoints that receive messages which contained attack orders that are either document-oriented or procedure-oriented information, executed from high up the common and control chain, by IT leadership. This new type of war was orchestrated by a small group of greybeards, who dwelled in the basements of large institutions.

Around the turn of the century, a new breed of milia units began borrowing from these existing top-down approaches to digital warfare but began leveraging cheaper Internet and web infrastructure to document, share, and distribute their unique brand of attacks on the global supply chains of not just the enemy, but anyone that got in their way–a new, ruthless way of waging a digital economic war. It would be several more years before this type of warfare would take root and begin evolving, but the seeds for disruption had been planted, giving birth to something that would soon be affecting every other aspect of business, government, institutions, and even in our personal worlds.

Early cyber invasions seemed almost fun and entering, but looking back the attack on the social fabric of our lives, it was anything but amusing. Who ever imagined that warfare could be conducted via social media memes, photos, videos, and the games we play each day. APIs were being used to define and map out more than just the social fabric of our personal and professional lives, they were being used to psychologically profile us, and ultimately plan out how we could be conscripted in this new type of cyber warfare.

By this point, one of the leading militias called Amaze who had been pushing this new type of warfare had heavily invested the digital factories and warehouses where they manufactured the essential components needed to wage this new type of warfare at scale–things like compute, storage, and DNS. Then in 2006, they opened up these new cyber war manufacturing center to be used be used by the public–now any militia could grow their operations, deploying what seemed like unlimited capacity when it came to planning, communicating, and executing attacks on any business, institutional, government, or civilian target.

This became a perfect storm for how we plan, communicate and execute an invasion or disruption, but to achieve their objectives the militias still needed people to swell their human ranks. In a distributed war you need humans to execute your ideological warfare, or simply to defend existing companies and institutions against the attack of others. At this point, a computer device manufacturing company called “Pear” came along from the consumer sector and released the perfect device for indoctrinating, and conscripting the average civilian in this new type of warfare. Then, rather than shipping individuals off to the front lines, militia units who were flush with their new found resources would bring the frontline to them, lighting up millions of new frontlines within businesses, government agencies, communities, and homes around the globe–a new kind of front line that never stayed in a single place, and would follow us wherever we went in our physical world(s).

Within each front line battle, armies had been creating their own way of defining, describing, and modeling their activity as each assault unfolded, learning from each wave and developing their own form of scaling things as they needed. Early supply chain attacks had their own way. The imaging and video fronts used their own protocols, and messaging formats to describe, share, and then execute attacks. Some providers were successful simply because of a number of resources they had invested in their regional militias, making success more about who your investors were, over any of the technical details of how you waged cyber warfare.

As this was going on, a single milia unit (Strutter) in a small linguistics company created a new way for describing the way attacks had been occurring–they has used in their own attack on language and how we communicate. When planning for a social attack a common approach had emerged–you used images, video, wall posts, a share, or a tweet. The description had been well defined on the social front–hammered out in the early intense years of warfare. However, we now needed a way to describe and define the frontline across ALL social, messaging, and other invasions. Imaging, video, mapping, messaging, profiling–we needed a way to document how the attacks were being carried out, and the finer details the attack request and response infrastructure in play, otherwise cyber warfare would not scale and expand as desired by those who were waging it.

As the Strutter unit was formalizing their approach to mapping out and sharing a cyber invasion using API technology, another group, the Masherine division took notice and released their own solution modeled after Strutter’s work. The Masherine division possessed considerably more resources than the smaller Strutter unit and would be able to get the attention of other militias much faster than Strutter ever could–a solution they called Masherine Up / Down, or the Masherine U/D Protocol. Both Strutter and Masherine U/D Protocol would emerge as the leading approaches to documenting an attack after they had happened, allowing for better planning, communication, and execution of future attacks, and training of militia members.

As this was all happening, another unit emerged to further shift how we conduct cyber warfare, allowing us to not just document how an attack or series of attack occurred and just understanding the frontline after it had created and shifted. This new unit, dubbed the Killer Bee (kBee) Unit, release their approach to not just mapping API attacks after they happened, but allowing us to also to plan attacks, and even model and mock attacks and shifting front lines before they ever actually occurred. The kBee Unit added their Hive API Blueprint to the mix of a growing number of approaches to quantifying how cyber warfare is waged at a global scale.

As front lines in supply, healthcare, training, transportation, and social front lines adopted one of the leading formats: Strutter, U/D Protocol, or now Hive API Blueprint, other significant shift in the landscape was occurring. Cyber warfare was shifting to be more about business, the acquisition of militias to grow your army, as well as about politics and ideology of how propaganda is being spread, as well how we quantify, communicate, and discuss cyber attacks–the API description wars, a war behind the cyber war(s) was now in full bloom.

In the early days of the war, there was one place you went to find a listing of frontline attacks and any details about how the fighting was occurring. It was a scrappy wartime news outfit run by a handful of patriots, called ProgrammedWeb. I worked for ProgrammedWeb in the early days, when I was first trying to make a name for myself, but after the news agency was sold, and then resold again to the emerging Hard Mule Division, I became pretty focused on crafting, publishing, and syndicating my stories, and evolving my own independent view of how cyber warfare was actually be conducted on the front lines.

Even after stopping my dispatches t ProgrammedWeb, I still worked on strategy for the Hard Mule Division, and one of my immediate tasks involved bringing together all of the existing API description providers to discuss the unification of all the approaches, which actually resulted in a fourth format called BatteringRAML. Now there were four groups battling it out for dominance when it came to describing, defining, and mapping out the cyber warfare front lines. Somewhere along the way, I was to blame, for helping bring everyone together, allowing them to have their best practices and goodwill extracted and applied to BatteringRAML, something that resulted in me losing access to the kBee Unit and Strutter camps for a while.

Shortly after the Hard Mule Division purchased ProgrammedWeb, and convened their interoperability gathering amongst API description providers, they asked me what it would take to ensure that all my stories, communications, and frontline research flowed exclusively through their “channels”. I had no interest in this happening, but I tossed out a low six figure number, to which they simply laughed. We never spoke again after this, but it did show me the true colors of the Hard Mule Unit, as well as some of the other emerging militias, units, and divisions who have begun to take a lead in the global cyber warfare landscape. This emboldened me. I was determined to stay independent in my reporting, even if it meant I was in a more precarious financial situation–something that resulted in heavy drinking during these times on the front line.

During this same period I was contacted by the Electronic Frontline Foundation (EFF), one of the leading organizations fighting for frontline transparency. It was about another significant shift in the cyber landscape brought on by a leading military industrial complex vendor Prognosticator, who was suing another rising division called Oggle over stealing their approach to naming and ordering of the industrial manufacturing process of cyber warfare equipment. It wasn’t the same as quantifying, communicating, and executing cyber warfare itself, but it was a disturbing legal shift in how cyber war equipment can be manufactured, something that I knew would eventually spread to the front line, shifting how battles can scale and syndicate.

While all of this was going on, Strutter’s Linguistics unit had run out of resources. While their approach to defining, planning, and communicating API invasions had become the favorite approach of frontline militias, it hadn’t been a money making venture, and they had focused on the details of how you define an invasion, and maybe not so much the execute of their own sustainability. Strutter was on the chopping block, and the Thinking Bear Division swooped to save them, acquiring the unit, as well as any intellectual property it possessed. I was asked to cover the acquisition, crafting a dispatch as this leading API description provider shifted hands. The Thinking Bear Division required that my dispatch be approved, and sent it back with changes, then again with more changes–eventually, I said I couldn’t help them get their message out to the thousands of militias on the frontline who read my stories.

Strutter was now in use across thousands of frontline battles, a change in ownership might upset the balance of power amongst the four leading API description providers, but more importantly, the units who were doing the fighting. Further destabilizing things, instead of continuing the interoperability, scalability, and growth the front lines have enjoyed over the last couple of years. While Strutter is just a privatized mercenary units now, we were able to get the Strutter specification itself into an independent military governing body called the Operative API Initiative, or OAI.

Over the last year, every major unit or division has joined the OAI to participate in the discussion around how cyber warfare is defined and waged. Groups like MacroHard, International Bullshit Machine (IBM), Oggle, and kBee Unit have all joined the initiative. Hell, I’ve even joined the initiative just so I have access to the “behind the scene conversations”. Last month the giant military contractor Prognosticator acquired the kBee Unit, buying a seat at the OAI table. In 2017, a significant number of leading militias, units, and divisions have joined the OAI, setting the stage for how the future of how cyber warfare will be waged.

Newspaper headlines around the globe have declared recently that the API description wars are over. Pointing out that ALL the major API description providers are now part of the same military governing council. Take my word for it, the wars aren’t over. They’ve just moved behind slightly closed doors, being shaped by those who have the resources to participate. They have moved from the front lines of the cyber war, and into the courtroom, again only available to those who have the resources to litigate and defend their approach to waging cyber war, and simply defending their approach to defending themselves from cyber attack–it sucks to be sued for copyright infringement for the way you defended your company from a cyber invasion, maybe even from the company who is suing you. In the future, it will be much rarer for small militias to be able to make a difference. In the new landscape, you will have to part of a larger division to get anything done at scale.

While the API description War landscape has shifted, the trillions of cyber skirmishes being waged around the globe are only picking up momentum, individually and collectively. The attacks on democracy, via social front lines, and supply chains at the retail and wholesale levels are under threat, as well as the financing networks from banking, to markets, and venture capital is increasingly being targeted. Education, healthcare, transportation, and every other vital aspect of our communities are also under attack from each wave of militias being deployed. While many of these militias genuinely believe they are fighting for good, the damage they are doing to every layer of our society and democracy will be irreversible.

In 2017, we are seeing the front lines of the cyber war expand. It wasn’t enough that every citizen has been indoctrinated via the mobile device in our pocket, being sucked into larger battles being waged on the social, mapping, messaging, and other fronts. We are being told to install physical security cameras, speakers, microphones and other devices in our homes, automobiles, and workplace, stoking our physical as well as cyber insecurities. Once installed, these devices get converted into front lines in attacks on free speech, financial markets, elections, and much more, after they are hacked and p0wn3d. The average citizen is completely unaware of the battlefront their lives have become in the last couple years, something I’m not sure many of them will ever fully wake up to.

One of the contributing factors that is sustaining cyber warfare, and making APIs and their descriptions so valuable, is their ability to generate revenue from the bits of data exchanged along every front-line skirmishes. These digital bits generated from each attack are sold behind the scenes. Divisions, units, militias, and their investors are lining up to purchase these digital bits from each other, fueling the growth and intensity of cyber invasions–making cyber warfare a very profitable thing in 2017.

With all this investment, entirely new fronts have been able to emerge. The blockchain front is expanding beyond just attacks on the financial system, and have started to spread to insurance, healthcare, education, and other sectors the creative militias feel deserve targeting. The artificial intelligence (AI) and machine learning (ML) fronts have expanded at breakneck speeds, resulting in a form of cyber warfare very few will ever see coming. Even many of the AI and ML practitioners and providers don’t understand what they are wielding. Many individuals, business, institutions, and government agencies will show up in the morning to find their homes, businesses and organizations gutted, bombed out, and looted after allowing AI and ML into their lives.

I have spent seven years working to quantify the thousands, then millions of micro invasions occurring on a daily basis across this new way of waging cyber warfare. APIs are central to every major and minor invasion in the last 17 years, and API descriptions aren’t just how you plan, communicate, and execute these invasions, they are how you document and understand what has happened, and the atrocities that have occurred–which is one reason why API descriptions have become so valuable. Sure, you want to own how you plan, communicate, execute, and ultimately scale each invasion in a cyber war, but if you control the way we talk about these incursions, quantify and prevent them–you win. It’s a beautiful business model.

After seven years on the front line, I am confident that I will spend my rest of my life here. We have opened Pandora’s Box. There is no putting this beast back in its cage. It is all out there. All we can do is work to quantify, understand, and defend ourselves, working to make sure the machine is more transparent and observable, and telling stories about what is real and what is not in this new world of perpetual cyber warfare.



Grand Theft Uber

We launched new game this week called Grand Theft Uber, where you get to drive around over 25 cities across the globe, playing Uber in a variety of different game modes. When you first download the game you are in the default game level, and it increases in complexity as you ascend (or descend) into different levels, depending on your role.

  • Default White Guy - The easiest, entry level for the game is a white guy, helping you get your bearings without any concerns.
  • Woman - Drive around the city as a woman and better understand the amazing level of personalization women receive daily.
  • Person Of Color - Play the game as a person of color--I would say driving, but I still haven't been able to get a ride on this level.
  • Regulator - This is where the game get's interesting, and you start seeing the movie magic of the Uber algorithm.
  • Law Enforcement - As law enforcement you start unlocking new tools, allowing you to combat some of the smoke & mirrors of the Uber universe.
  • Uber Driver - Enjoy driving people around the city by day, and sleeping in your car by night--if you are lucky you'll get someone interesting riding in your car.
  • Uber Manager - This is where you start unlocking new expansion packs, operating in more hostile cities, and even getting the chance to break into new markets.
  • Uber Engineer - It isn't quite god status in the Uber universe, but pretty close to it, unlocking a pretty powerful view of the Uber universe.

If you buy the premium version of the game this week, you also get a couple of bonus game levels including Travis Kalanick (Uber's CEO), and famous people like Mark Cuban, Kanye West, and other surprises. Download the game here, and begin experiencing the many different levels of the Uber universe, giving you a better understanding how technological personalization is impacting our lives.



Patent Storytelling #DesignFiction

I am a patent storyteller. I craft and file patents that are in the speculative, moonshot, design fiction, science fiction, and storyteller categories. These patents aren't mean to describe an actual product line. They are purely intended to boost the profile of our client company's patent catalog and get people talking about them.

Back in 2005, I was working as a patent attorney, and I noticed the unrealistic nature of the patents I was being hired to write. What really defined the shift for me was that US Patent Office was actually accepting and approving these wildly unrealistic, often comprehensive and abstract filings. It was the gold rush for filing technology patents, and building your company's portfollio before anything changed--a decade later, nothing has changed.

Along the way I decide to offer my clients an enhanced, more creative edition of my services that I am calling "patent storytelling". While patents are still filed, become real, tangible intellectual property, the intent behind them is all about stimulating the imagination of tech bloggers and journalists who pay attention to the patent catalogs of leading companies. The marketing value of these patent stories far exceeds any cost associated with the crafting and filing of these legal documents.

We live in a magical time. The Internet is an amazing virtual world where anything is possible. While we do keep our storytelling somewhat in alignment with a customer's product roadmap, we specialize in telling stories that give the media and blogosphere the compelling stories they want to tell, providing them with the entertainment their readers demand. While stimulating the imagination of the media, and potentially the new and existing customers, patent storytelling has the best impact on the competitors of the companies we work for, making them work much harder to understand where a company might be headed.

I can't identify specific pieces we've produced, but our clients include 80% of fortune 500 companies, and all of the leading tech companies you know and trust. I will let you look through their patent catalogs, and decide with filings are patent storytelling, and which ones are not on your own



Racial Bias In Algorithm & Color Blind Facial Recognition Targets White Minority #DesignFiction

Algorithmic policing using facial recognition technology has been in place in 98% of police departments in the United States for almost 11 years now. The full report about the last decade has become available, and the results have clearly been devastating to the white population. Due to arrest decisions being made 100% algorithmically, and the fact that facial recognition technology is largely blind to people of color, the last decade of policing has largely targeted the now minority white population.

Blind faith in the algorithms and a lack of diversity amongst facial recognition development teams created this perfect storm. While it has been devastatingly effective in incarcerating the white population, it would have to remain in operation for another century before we would see the scales tipped back in the favor of people of color. It does provide a wonderful reminder of how privilege and a lack of diversity can really bite you in the ass when you believe so religiously in the power of the algorithm.

Nobody is sure what will happen next. Can we go back to a world of human policing? Mistrust of human police offer still exists, but now with a complete lack of trust of the policing algorithms, nobody trusts the new system either. Most advocates are in favor of leaving in place, and living with the bias built into the facial recognition systems, until a solution can be found--we lived with it knowingly built into the human version for so long, why be in such a hurry to change course now? Solving the diversity problem on facial recognition technology development teams seems like the only path forward at this time.



The Money Is In Selling Access To Unsecured Devices Not The Devices #DesignFiction

I am telling you that all you need is for each of your devices to respond to your presale validation requests and you can sell it many times over, to a variety of cybersecurity players. You can sell to the Chinese, to the Russian, a variety of rogue actors, and even to some researchers and news outlets. The money in all of this isn't in the manufacturing, and selling of IoT devices, or even the data generated from them--it is selling unsecured access to them once they are plugged into any network.

A camera, microphone, speaker, light, crockpot, or any other device--it doesn't matter. The smaller, cheaper, and more entertaining the better. You manufacture in large quantities, ship in bulk, and encourage the giving away of each device making it irresistible for users to plug it into their network. The more devices you can muster with a presale device validation ping, the more you can request from your buyers, with the market for these type of buyers growing by 200X in the next six months.

The trick is to stay in tune with each trend in wearables, home, and office gear. This week it's the workplace cubicle fan that measures the temperature, and next week its the mini lava lamp posting your mood to Twitter. The Internet connectivity should be simple, convenient, and entertaining, making plugging it into the network rewarding for the user. Once this is done, each device can ping home its availability for command and control. There are a growing number of trade magazines that cover the device trends, but usually by the time they've been covered it is yesterday's news, so you have to do your own research.

Take a look at our catalog, crunch the number in the spreadsheet template we provided you with--you will see the numbers pencil out for selling access to these unsecured devices, not selling the devices themselves. 



The Invasion Began In The 19th Century With Early Radio Waves #DesignFiction

From what we now know, the invasion began in the early 20th century, with early signals sent to our invaders via experimentation in radio waves in the mid 19th century. Early forms of communication did not draw their attention like the signals we sent by radio, television, telephone, the Internet, and cellular technology. Each wave of technology matched the accompanying wave of the invasion, with our adoption of these innovations laying the groundwork of our own demise.

While radio and television demonstrated that we were a society worth invading, it wasn't until the Internet age, that the full-scale invasion began, leaving no place on earth out of reach from the invading force. Within 50 years of the Internet being unleashed on the world, all humanity was under the full control of our invading species. Because we led our own invasion, we did not see our invaders, they looked like us, spoke like we did, and desired the same things we desired. We attacked each other, in the service of our invaders, and we called in cyber warfare.

There were warnings all along the way, that technology was bad, and we ignored all the signs. We told stories in books, music, and movies, all of which became distractions, numbing us from being able to actually see our invading force. With capitalism as a vehicle, we reduced everyone and everything to a transaction. Each thought, message, idea, emotion became a commodity and fuel for the invading force. We swapped out our DNA for blockchain command and control, building our own prison, and walking in when our invaders commanded.

 



Fees For IoT Device Security Violations Are Automatic #DesignFiction

When you purchase your security camera, router, printer, or other potentially Internet-connected device and plug it in on your network, you will have to complete its activation. When you purchased your IoT device, this was just the first half of the activation sequence, once you get connected to your network, you will need to execute the second half of activation sequence.

At this time your device will operate as expected, and is registered in multiple federal and state agencies databases. When your device manufacturer releases a firmware update for the device you will have 72 hours to apply the update, or face an IoT device compliance violation. Depending on the device, it starts around $25.00 with a 5% daily increase for each day of non-compliance. 

Your manufacturer may have automatic updates turned on by default, resulting in the most desirable update schedule for everyone involved. For some reason, some manufacturers haven't made this default, and some installers opt to turn off when it is present. This is one reason we've automated the violation framework, to incentivize compliant activations. There are many proprietary and open source solutions available today that assist you in the management of your IoT devices, helping you stay in compliance with government IoT device security regulations--it shouldn't be a problem.

While IoT device security compliance may seem like yet another regulatory hurdle to have to climb over as a small business owner, it hopefully gives you the opportunity to pause while determining which objects you connect to the Internet. We all have to share in the burden of online security and assume our responsibility for each device we decide to connect to the online world.



We Offer A Redundant Proxy For The Facebook Live API #DesignFiction

Use our API proxy for your mobile video applications instead of directly connecting to Facebook Live API. The proxy ensures your video is uploaded to Facebook Live, as well as up to 10 other locations, depending on how important syndication is to you. With the numerous claims against Facebook regarding censorship of videos we know we can't trust them, but with the network effect present we also can't ignore the benefits the platform offers for spreading the message.

We offer ten alternate locations for your video to be uploaded to in real-time, including Youtube, Vimeo, as well as more storage-oriented locations like Amazon S3 and Dropbox, allowing access beyond just video and social locations. We recommend hitting all the top video sharing platforms, as well as 3-5 standard storage locations, which will then allow for further syndication using Content Delivery Networks (CDN). 

Depending on the sensitive nature of the content, and the political influence that target(s) possess, we recommend syndicating as many possible locations as you can afford. If you are restricted to just using the Facebook application to make this happen, we recommend using our local area network proxy, which can act as a proxy for your entire network, and route a copy of all videos to the locations you need.

Do not rely on Facebook as the only source for storage and distribution. You need the network effect Facebook offers, but they cannot be trusted to be the sole gatekeepers of the video that is defining our times--they have made this clear.



Complete RF Scanning Coverage Where You Need Using Drones #DesignFiction

Our fleets of drone deployed radio frequency (RF) spectrum scanners can be deployed as a cohesive mesh, producing 100% scanning coverage wherever you need them--within an hour. Each drone logs everything. All signals are recorded and synced with the cloud in real-time, where our systems get to work identifying devices, and matching with existing intelligence. 

Depending on your intelligence data subscription you should have access to all updates within minutes of the data coming in from the drones. Each drone fleet will establish the mesh coverage needed, based upon the KML file we upload. If we need to expand in the region at any point, additional drones will be deployed in real-time and fill in any gaps--immediately reporting all signals found.

Our RF scanning fleets do not allow for any decision-making capabilities, that is up to your systems--we just provide the data. RF scanning drones are specialized--they do one thing well. They track on all available RF signals available in the area we tell them to, that is all they are capable of doing. If you need more information on other types of specialized drone fleets we offer, or data enabled decision-making solutions, let me know, and I'll get the required information you desire.



Waze For Drones #DesignFiction

We are the Waze for drones. Instead of routing cars and trucks we provide routing options for the commercial drone industry. Drone routing adds another critical dimension to the process--elevation. What fixed objects are in the way, like buildings, bridges, and trees. What temporary objects are in the way like cranes, cables, and other drone traffic. There are an increasingly amount of objects in the way of the fast moving drone sector.

Real-time, near real-time, and historical drone routing data has proven to be a 10 trillion dollar industry. With over 30 billion commercial drones in operation, the need for routing solutions has reached critical levels. Real-time tracking systems have been in place for commercial drone operators for over three years now, adding to the amount of data we process, and share each day. Thanks to the use of drone technology new construction is mapped each day--adding to the fixed layer of our maps in real time. 

What you are looking for is our historical data solutions, which includes the rating for each zone on the map. Historical mode for the API is not meant to be used by drones during flights but is designed for use in a system to system integrations, primarily used by the insurance industry. The historical data includes all drone accidents back to 2018, which should provide what you are looking. Let us know if your current access levels to the historical drone data give you everything you need--if not we can bump you up a level or two.



My Job Is To Track On The Medical Devices Of Senators #DesignFiction

My full-time job is to keep track of the medical devices that members of the senate depend on. Specifically, the Internet-connected or network enabled devices that they use on a regular basis. I have a counterpart who works in service of the members of congress, and a separate one in charge of the White House--wee all share notes and reduce the amount of overlap in our efforts.

The first task at hand is to know the top products that are in place when it comes to the common ailments our senate leadership faces. Knowing the equipment they use is important, but knowing of the best product available is more important, so I can advise on sensible product decisions when new treatments are advised by doctors. All senators are required to consult with my office on all health care decisions--we still have the occasional rogue senator, but for the most part, they are all in compliance.

The second part of my work is focused on paying attention to all claims of healthcare devices having security vulnerabilities. I work to validate them as soon as they come in and identify the senators in which these vulnerabilities will impact. Once we have a compromised device we work to mitigate the risk by switching out the device if possible or keeping them on a limited access plan until proper updates, and patches can be applied. A big part of this is often asking journalists to leave out details of a senator's health, or details on the specific device they use.

More senators are using connected healthcare devices, especially amongst the elder ones. More devices are being connected to a network and the Internet. Making my job increasingly difficult. Information sharing is critical to what I do, but it has to be done in a thoughtful way, otherwise I'm just making senators a target. It all keeps me on my toes, but it is a worthy job and helps keep our country's leaders safe, as the Internet continues to make our world both safer and more dangerous, all in the same motion.



We Specialize In Faux Internet of Things Hack Stories #DesignFiction

Our speciality is in crafting creative Internet of Things hack stories. Do you want your competitor to think their products are insecure? Do you want the free publicity that can come with a security breach? We are the creative team you are looking for. We have the experience to help you craft and execute exactly the perfect scenario and help you achieve your goals.

In today's online volatile cyber security landscape the stage is set, all you have to do is seize the moment. Our most popular package is the perceived external threat solution, where we take one of your products, stage a security incident and leak it to the online folks. There is no better way to light the fire under your team's ass then to make them think there is a security hole in the solutions they are developing.

The second most popular package is the competitor misinformation play. We will target one of your competitor's products, and plan just the right security incident for the situation. All we do is leak the information, and the current journalism and blogger landscape takes care of the rest. Cybersecurity fears even trump those of the environment and terrorism, making it the best way to get publicity for your company. Remember any news coverage is good news coverage, it just depends on how you roll with it.

Once we receive your down payment, one of our creative directors will reach out to you with a full list of packages, as well as non-disclosure information. The turnaround for a project is usually about 2-4 weeks, but we do have packages that will take longer. We look forward to being your IoT cyber security creative partner, and look forward to a long and healthy relationship.



72 Hours Of DDoS Attack Is Optimal For Softening Target Before Physical Entry #DesignFiction

Our numbers show that almost any company will lower their physical defenses in response to an online DDOS attack on their infrastructure. After delivering over 12K successful campaigns we began to test physical entry capabilities, and after delivering another 10K attacks, we found the most lucrative opportunity is not through the digital front door, but the physical front door.

We aren't suggesting going in and physically taking anything from the location. Our recommendations is a service call for an existing printer, security camera, or other device that lives on the internal network. After a sustained attack, by the 3rd day physical security tends to relax, as everyone is in a state of focus on the sustained denial of service attack targeting virtual infrastructure. Printers, cameras, and other equipment can be replaced without anyone noticing, setting the stage for a frictionless attack from the inside-out.

If you'd prefer, we can do the much lower cost drone fly by, as drone defense systems are usually compromised in the face of a DDOS attack. A drone fly by can usually find an open network, a network that can be penetrated, or an individual device that can be compromised. DDOS plus drone fly by is providing to the best way to yield results when it comes to a digital / physical combo attack. 

Let me know which direction you'd like to take, and will get your campaigns setup immediately. 



It Was Good Month On The Net! Let's Go To Mars For A Vacation #DesignFiction

If the numbers regarding online sales from the website prove true, I am prepared to take the entire team to Mars for a vacation. I was just logged into the dashboard and the sales numbers were well into the eight figures for this month, with the defensive costs associated with keeping the website online only being about 43% of that total. Those are some pretty stellar numbers, and worth celebrating as a team.

Last year our defensive costs for DDOS attacks were well into the 70% range--it was a bad year for operating online. Whether it was the result in our investment in machine learning DefenseTech (TM) solutions or the result of effective policing, our defensive costs are down. Surviving online has proven difficult for most businesses in 2027, fortunately, our company has down well enough to afford the required investment in DefenseTech (TM).

It was a hard-won year, but we did it. We are not only part of the .03% of businesses who survive in today's online environment, we are truly finding success. Our team deserves to relax and enjoy their time off, something that is getting more difficult to do on earth. This is why the company will charter a private SpaceX shuttle and take the entire team to Mars for the entire month of August. Confirm your participation, and let us know which family members will be joining us--as space is limited.

Thanks for your hard work and dedication through the dark years, your commitment will be rewarded with an out of this world experience.



The Uber For Surveilance #DesignFiction

As an independent cable contractor, I am always looking for extra ways to make some money. This is why I joined UberWatch, which allows me to pick up extra surveillance jobs in the areas I'm already working in. All I do when I am on my regular jobs, is to turn on the app, and it will let me know if there are open surveillance jobs in the area available to me, I either decline or accept as they come in.

Many jobs I get are just asking if there is a car parked in the driveway or on street, while others are looking to monitoring a house for an hour or two. There are many different types of surveillance emerging, and through my UberWatch application, I can personalize which types of jobs I want to receive--the more you specialize, the more you can potentially make on a per job basis. 

I've just reached my one year anniversary with the company, and with a very high trust ranking, I am now given access to a whole new world of jobs, and I'm able to even take jobs out of my regular area, while on vacation or as part of travel for work. I am hoping to use UberWatch to become a full-time investigator and quit my regular job. I enjoy keeping an eye on people, studying and watching their habits for the highest bidder.



The Cost Of Expanding Your Botnet With Free IoT Device Giveaway #DesignFiction

We can get the price down to around $8.00 USD per device, allowing you to reduce the cost of building your Botnet out significantly. When you give away a free Internet of Things device out for free at local events like flea markets, fairs, and other local gatherings, we see an average of 65% connectivity rate--nearly twice what we saw with USB devices in the past.

Once connected each device will phone home for instructions, and check back each hour until any detailed targets and intents have been provided. For two dollar more, we can ensure each device can also be activated and connected locally via wifi, not needing a direct Internet connection. We find that we can achieve another 20% in device activations by flying through neighborhoods with an activation drone.

If we can get your order in by the end of the week, and it is over 10K units, we can even take another $1.00 USD off the price, further reducing your costs to deploy. Make sure and ask your sales person about our local organizations that are hungry for these types of giveaways, providing ready to go, on the ground deployment opportunities on a regular basis. You will need to operate in one of the gold or silver tiers before you can take advantage of these opportunities, but from time to time we have introductory offers if you stay connected.

Don't wait to invest in your network, you know your competitors are building their's out as we speak.



If You Want Gov Ally On Self-Driving Car We Need You To Weaken Your Messaging App Google #DesignFiction

Yes, we are fully aware your desires to move forward with your self-driving car initiative, and if you want the US government as an ally in these efforts, we will need something from you in return. You know that messaging app you have been talking about releasing? The one that promised end-to-end encryption? Well, we are going to need you to back off that just a bit if you want our full support of the self-driving car.

As you have probably heard we are not that big of fans of end to end encryption when it comes to messaging applications, and to avoid any further messes in the public sphere, or in the court of law, we recommend you not move any further in this direction. We are happy to support your efforts when it comes to being the leader in the self-driving automobile space, but we are only willing to do this if we aren't battling you on the messaging front as well.

If you would like to go further with your new messaging applications, and maybe even give us a backdoor, or allow us to directly access messages via an API, I'm sure there are other deals in the pipeline we could also expedite. We appreciate you working with us on this, and I'm sure the future of the self-driving cars will be bright, with federal regulation being as minimal as possible.



Algorithmic Local Area Transporter Moving Obstacles Out Of Your Way #DesignFiction

Our mobile phones have taken common everyday transporter technology and put it in service of the public out on the street where it matters. Everyone is aware of the clueless mobile device user out on the street, stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, blocking the restaurant door, and standing in the street while staring at their phone. 

Nothing is more frustrating than encounters with these clueless people, while you are just trying to get through your day. Now for a low monthly subscription, you can have these people transported out of your way in real time. Transporter phones have 90% market penetration, and by default users have opted in for suggestive transport--which we'll use to move them just four or five feet in either direction, making sure they aren't in your way.

Of course, this is only done when a user is completely focused on their mobile device, and not engaged with other people, or the real world. Users will be moved safely, and our research shows that 80% of them never even notice they have been moved, as they so tuned into their device. This type of algorithmic, local area transport has had the same effect on people as we've seen with vehicle traffic--keeping both the sidewalks and the road ways clear of the most dangerously clueless users.

The entry level subscription is only $200 / month, and you get 150 active transports during each 30 day period. We keep track of all transports that occurred and provide you with a dashboard so you can see the obstacles we've cleared for you on any given day. If you sign up now, we'll sign you up for a free 30 days of Workplace Transport (TM), helping people avoid obstacles at work--help you achieve a frictionless work experience everyday.



I Am Afraid You Failed Multiple Software Runtime Patent Infringement Checks #DesignFiction

I am sorry, but your codebase has been disabled, due to failing multiple software patents checks--we cannot allow your software to continue operating in any environment. Apparently, sometime during your development, QA, and bringing live to a production environment, someone on your team did not run the required regulatory checks. We are sorry this has affected over 3M of your customer systems, but the responsibility was yours to ensure your product was compliant before updating on so many systems.

It is no secret that in 2026, that the USPTO has required ALL software developers to install a runtime patent checks in all web, mobile, and device based software systems.It doesn't matter if your software solution is "open source", or you perceive that your software is unique and original. Some say that the additional overhead introduced into the software development lifecycle, as well as the additional checks needed in real time at runtime has ruined the Internet as we knew it, but all intellectual property must be defended for markets to work properly.

To begin unlocking your software you will have to have your lawyer prepare the proper paperwork, and mail it to the USPTO office for review. Once we review, a court date will be set where you can challenge the companies whose intellectual property you are being accused of infringing upon. If your company survives this process, maybe it will be a little more diligent about ensuring it is following the rules when developing any software in the future.



Join Your Local Stringray Cell Tower Befuddle Brigade #DesignFiction

If you want to join your local area's stingray cell tower befuddle brigade all you have to do is have your own (secondary) iPhone or Android device, and you can download the appropriate mobile image for your device via the websites downloads page. While we do not track your user agent or IP address, we recommend using TOR when you visit website and download anything. In some markets, you can visit your local brigades weekly meeting location, and get a USB version of the mobile device image and get assistance from a qualified representative.

One you are up and running, all you do is leave your secondary device on as you go about your regular daily routine. Your device will automatically identify stingray cell towers in your area, and begin to work overtime to generate fake data, messages, and other traffic to flood the cell towers with misinformation. The more local users we can light up, the more data we can send through these unlawful cell towers, making their work much harder and costly.

The goal is to completely overwhelm the cell towers, but at the very least we want to make sure they have to wade through terabytes of meaningless fake data that they cannot separate from real world data. We want to increase their workloads, and make it too costly to continue, and eventually bring their illegal work out of the shadows when it comes to police operations budgets.

Thank you for your service. We hope some day this will not be necessary, and local police forces will have to use lawful ways to obtain search warrants, and work with mobile network providers to get access to criminal's data--not blank sweeping up of all of our information. Until then, we will work overtime swell our brigade ranks to flood and befuddle these rogue stingray cell towers that are violating the civil rights of all citizens.