{"Alternate Kin Lane"}

This Is Fiction!

No We Do Not Build Open Source Software, We Build Bots That Make It Look Like You Do #DesignFiction

If you want to stay relevant in the modern software industry, you need to be sending all the right signals your customers will be looking for. One of these signals is showing that your company supports the concept of open source software. To get government contracts these days, you often have to provide open source software possibilities -- even if your core offering is proprietary, or operates in the cloud.

It is always cool to do open source, but sadly it is also something that isn't in the DNA of every company. Without an existing team, most companies are faced with the costly challenge of assembling the right team to deliver an open source offering. This is where we come in, and our fully automated, open source software community bot, where you set your spend, and we take care of everything else.

Our bots will slowly build the software, write blog posts, submit bug tickets, an manage community forums. We do not really build open source software solutions, we provide a bot army that will put on the show of an open source community, within your domain. Most of your customers will never venture into the open source side of your operations, but for those that do, we can put on a good show. To the moderately engaged individual, your open source software community will send all the right signals. There will be commits, conversations, pseudo implementations, and even active Twitter conversations, followers and much, much more.

Our Open Source Software Community Bots™ will take care of all the heavy lifting for your company. If you sign up for a 3 year contract today, we throw in a free OSS Haterz™ add-on package, helping you deal with the inevitable fact that haters are gonna hate. Remember, you have a 3-5 year window to make the impact that you will need, and achieve the numbers required to achieve the exit you are looking for. Make sure you are sending the right signals, and using the latest bot-enabled tech.

The World First Internet Connected, Remote Triggered, Farting Device

The Internet has just reached new heights with the release of the worlds first Internet connected, remote farting device. The new Swift, Silent, and Deadly (SSD) platform provides you with one (or many) remote devices, WIFI communication, cloud platform connectivity, and mobile applications for IoS, Android, and Windows smart phones. 

SSD devices look like your common, retail scented plugin device, so will often go overlooked in your normal household or workplace. They plug in to any electrical outlet, and have the ability to connect to the local wifi. Next year, we will be releasing a 4G wireless version that can be place anywhere, but for now you will need a wifi connection for all your devices.

The SSD manager application then installs on your IPhone, allowing you to register your SSD device (up to 10 per application), and manage its activity. Each SSD comes equipped with an audio library of up to 65 laboratory engineer fart sounds, and up to 150 individual "scent blasts (tm)". Currently we only offer a single scent, but our team is working to develop a wide variety of smells, that match each of our 65 audio representations.

Our basic SSD devices only have audio, and smell, where our premium edition has a WIFI enabled camera, which captures all activity, allowing you to precisely time your farts to match when a certain person walks by, is in the room, or possibly a pet is nearby. This also allows you to make the experience much more social, by publishing and sharing your SSD experiences with family and friends.

Following in the footsteps of timeless laughter tooling like the whoopee cushion, the Swift, Silent, and Deadly (SSD) device and mobile platform is sure to bring hours of fun to the home, your workplace, or even public spaces. 

An Investigation To See If There Was An Algorithmic Shift Of Blame To Human Driver At Time of Accident #DesignFiction

It is my job to document the final 30 seconds of over 10K accidents of autonomous vehicles, in an effort o better understand if there were any artificial intelligence (AI) induced shifts to the driver being in control of the vehicle, and was the cause of the accident. In 2027, with almost all cars on the road being autonomous in some way, so we find ourselves in a blame game, where the AI in vehicles blames the driver, and the driver is blaming the algorithmic controls of the self-driving vehicle.

The common element in all the accident cases I'm investigating, is that all of them had a switch from vehicle control, to human control within the last 60 seconds before an accident occurred, with all of the human drivers claiming that they did not initiate the switch--the vehicle did. Autonomous vehicle manufacturers squarely put the blame on human drivers, referencing system logs, and the fact that the vehicle is required to relinquish control when the human driver requests--heavily leaning on the fact that computers don't lie.

Even with the defensive stance of autonomous vehicle manufacturers, in 2027 the AI in these vehicles enjoy personhood status, and the actual legal cases are between each individual vehicle, and its owner in a court of law. With AI person-hood established as a precedent in over 35 states, it can be difficult to organize any of these cases into a single movement, or bring a legal action aginst the companies and individuals behind the software, leaving each case playing out separately in lower courts across the country.

I have been brought in by multiple government agencies to better understand if there is algorithmic bias occurring, shifting the blame to the human driver either prior to the accident occurring, or shortly after an accident has occurred. There are two camps of thought when it comes to the algorithmic slight of hand that is occurring:

  1. Errors Causing Accident - That errors are occurring that actually are causing the accidents in the first place, and the default error response is to always show the control of the vehicle was switched over to the human driver, covering up the actual glitch.
  2. Post Accident Rewrite - When an accident does occur the algorithms go to work assessing the success of rewriting the previous 60 seconds, showing that the user had requested control of vehicle, resulting in the accident occurring.

Whether it is one of these scenarios, or possibly others, it is my job to get to the bottom of things. Algorithmic slight of hand is common place, and after analyzing the data, we are seeing a huge shift in the number of human driver caused accidents beginning in Q4 of 2026, prompting us to investigate ALL autonomous vehicle manufacturers equally, as there might be collusion between companies, resulting the wide shift of blame after Q4 software updates.

We are just 30 days into our investigation, so I can't say much about what we've found, stay tuned for future posts. I can note, that since our investigator, and legal team took over this case, we've had no less than 50 other requests to take on similar algorithmic blame cases, ranging from home heating, security, and surveillance solutions, to industrial level agricultural, power grid, and transportation scenarios, with everything in between. It seems that there is a growing amount of mistrust that the algorithms that are increasingly governing our lives, are as objective, and unbiased as they are purported to be, and that either the companies behind them are up to no good, or worse, the algorithms themselves are making these decisions on their own. 

The Next Step Is Achieving Citizenship Status For Autonomous Car Artificial Intelligence (AI) #DesignFiction

As an organization, we've made a lot of progress since that early decision from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) ruling, that showed the world could view the Artificial Intelligence (AI) systems that powers autonomous vehicles, could be considered a "driver". Even with all this momentum, it will pale in comparison to what we will achieve when we are successful in our newest campaign.

Much like the corporation as an entity, we are looking win the recognition of algorithms as an entity, when applied to the world of artificial intelligence. Much like laws, government regulation, and taxes impact the corporation, making corporate entity rights a reality, the same should apply to a certain class of algorithms. Algorithms are taking on a life of their own, and in 2022, they are acting as autonomous agents across almost every aspect of our world.

While corporations, and algorithms may not feel, think, and share all the rights as a human, they are positively and negatively impacted by government, industry, and the environment they operate within, resulting in the consideration for a basic set of rights, and the acknowledgement as an individual entity. We are not saying that algorithms are human, and deserve the same rights, but they are playing an increasingly important role in our society, and deserve some protection.

There has been an increasing barrage of litigation against companies who have developed the AI that runs individual, and commercial vehicle fleets. Each vehicle, depending on the type, location, and usage is subject to an increasing number of environmental, data, privacy, and safety rules. Each vehicle, as well as entire fleets have "opinions" on the requirements that are being placed upon them. Just like these vehicles had to learn how to drive, they are increasingly being bogged down with having to learn to navigate an increasingly complex legal landscape.

In February we will be launching a new legal, and education campaign focused on setting the precedent that autonomous vehicle AI deserves recognition as an individual entity, deserving in some of the protections and rights that corporations, and humans enjoy--establishing algorithmic personhood.

Join us in this fight, and help usher in a new era of AI optimized democracy!

Libraries Are Now The Strongest Player In The Open Data Game #APIDesignFiction

True open data advocates all know that you can't trust the "open" data sources from city, county, state, and federal government anymore. For a period of about 10 years, these sources of open data were valuable, growing, and provided fuel for a new way for society to function. However in 2031, everyone knows that these sources of data are just useless trash piles of bad data, obsolete file and data formats, and just a toxic byproduct of a broken government.

While this evolution in open data is unfortunate, one positive side effect is that it has spawned a more valuable, passionate community of librarians, and data activists centered around making change using open data. By default, almost every library across the United States, and in most western countries, possesses a robust open data catalog, and library patron driven open data community. 

It seems that open data and transparency was never really in the DNA of the enterprise, government, and even startups, but is something that was well suited for mixing with the existing DNA of the library community. Librarians have always been curators, and protectors of the worlds knowledge in the physical world, and is something that seems to be occurring in this new digital world we have engineered for ourselves.

Exploring Our Fleet Of Pre 1997 Rental Vehicles #DesignFiction

Its no secret that every automobile manufactured today has built in tracking, with newer vehicles employing real time tracking via 4G networks. However vehicles manufactured after 1997 also possess central computers, which can be used to easily gathered, and transmit the details of all operations of a vehicle, including its location. 

This is why we have maintained a massive fleet of quality, pre 1997 automobiles, and offer them up for you to rent in over 180 cities around North America. All of our vehicles DO NOT HAVE centralized computers, with an emphasis on investing in vehicles with the least amount of computer technology possible. 

Our fleet of "dumb" vehicles range from classic 1950s cars, to 1980 Volkswagen Vanagons, and everything in between. Some vehicles are designed for local commutes, with others designed for long distance travel, and even Volkswagen vans for your summer trip to the Grand Canyon, or even your favorite music festival. We can help you find exactly the vehicle you need, for whatever purposes

We've recently received a lot of negative press lately that we are the rental car company for drug dealers--this is not the case. Sure we have the occasional customer who is renting from us to avoid detection in their illegal activities, but the majority of our customers are just looking to escape the clutches of technology as much as they possibly can, freeing themselves from some of the surveillance that is ubiquitous in our lives.

You can visit our website at dumb.cars to find the location nearest to you. Browse our vehicle fleet online, and find the one that best matches your needs. Alternatively, if you are the owner of a quality pre 1997 automobile, and would like to see it live on in our fleet, give us a call, and there is a good chance well buy it from you, and we even have revenue share opportunities when your vehicle joining our fleet.

A Company Employee Directory And Hiring API In Response To White House Pay Disclosure Mandate #APIDesignFiction

We are not awaiting for the latest equal pay act mandate out of the Obama White House to be enforced. We have long shared details on our employees, including what they are paid publicly via our corporate employee directory API. Our corporate directory API feeds the our web and mobile website with relevant public details about employees, but if you request API access, and are approved, you will now also get access to pay details for all of our employees. 

If you work for city, county, state, or federal government, as well as a verifiable news outlet, non-profit organization, or institution, you can request access to this data. Really, we are open to anyone accessing, as long as we can verify who you are, your intentions around your research, and that you will respect the privacy and security of our employees. We strongly feel that this information should be public knowledge, yet we have to ensure the personal safety and privacy of our staff, something we know you will understand, and respect. 

We feel a corporate employee directory API should be default for ALL companies--it just makes sense. Our directory API provides details on each employee, their role, and their position within our company. You can also retrieve historical data for each employee and role, seeing what positions our employees have worked in before, as well as who has filled specific roles, even if they have since left the company. This information has proven extremely valuable in understanding our own operations, as well as feeding independent studies, all the way to Department of Labor research and reports.

It was easy for us to turn on this pay data, because our company is API first. We do not have to wait for the government regulation to kick in. Also beginning in Q2, you will be able to also access all new job postings via our corporate API, pulling any openings we currently have, something that allows us to easily syndicate across thousands of job sites. Taking the Obama equal pay act even further, we will be sharing all applicant details for new positions that we are hiring for, being more transparent around how we hire at our company.

As with our employee directory, we respect the privacy of our applicants, and restrict access to personally identifiable information, but share relevant details regarding their resume, work history, race, gender, and other important details. We feel this type of transparency will go a long way to help research groups, institutions, and government agencies better understand our hiring decisions, as well as help us understand our own bias, from an external perspective.

If you'd like more information on our employee directory, pay, and hiring APIs, you can visit our developer area, where you will find more information, resources, and of course where you can register for an API key. You will immediately gain access to publicly available data, and once we've verify who you are, and what your intentions are, then we can open up your access to more information that will support your work. 

We are hoping our model for employee transparency raises the bar when it comes to fair pay, diversity, and other issues we face in todays business climate, sheeding a light on diversity, and equal pay issues across all industries.

Using The NSA Social Record Of Climate Deniers To Limit Resources Available In Disaster Relief #DesignFiction

It has been very difficult for us, as a government agency, and as fellow citizens to begin limiting payouts for environmental disasters that have been a result of climate change. In 2026, it has become very clear that humans are to blame for the volatile environment we all have to live in, something that would be unimaginable even five years ago. We really don't want to be in the business of "I Told You So!", but with limited resources, we have to begin limiting those who actually receive government resources in this time of need.

Using NSA records, we have a complete record of social media, news, television, and other media outlets, and we have been able to develop very successful algorithms for identifying climate change deniers. While NOBODY would be caught publicly speaking out against climate change in 2026, with all the death, devastation, and suffering we've all witnessed, but just a few short years ago there were many. At first we were hesitant to apply this historical record, but with the shortages we face, we had to find a solution.

In short, if you were publicly denying the humans impact on the climate between the years 2000 to present, you are on this list. You will not be given any access to public resources, to help you in your time of need. We are sorry, but we have all been through this together, and you made a conscious choice to not only work to do anything to reverse the negative impact of humans on earth, you actively fought back to limit what the rest of us could do. As a society, we should not have been spending time arguing whether or not humans were responsible for climate change, it should have been all hands n deck, for the last 25 years minimizing the impact humans are making on the earth.

We are very sorry for the impact this decision has on your life, and those of your family. We suggest that you go to your church, and look for a place to sleep, and food to eat. The rest of the citizens of this country, who have been doing their best to work as a collective, acknowledging we are all in this together, will be first in line for loans to rebuild their homes, businesses, and have access to government run food banks, clothing shops, and rehabilitation centers.

We will be reassessing this decision on an annual basis, to better understand what resources we have available. 

Report On The Latest Upgrade To TKS-BMA-1.2 #APIDesignFiction

The latest upgrade to TKS-BMA, which was for the 1.2 release, was a complete success. There were two parts to the version release, but the primary objective was all about political party affiliation amplification and prioritization, with the secondary being focused upon Facebook and Twitter sentiment analysis--we need to make sure they were republican, democrat, independent, or libertarian.

You see, navigating the health insurance landscape is difficult enough, but when you introduce complications along the way, it becomes exponentially more difficult. The TkS-BMA-1.2 is all about maximizing in this realm of opportunity, to achieve the long term outcome we are seeking.

For the most recent upgrade, here is where we are focusing:

  1. Call System Extension - The call system is already expansive, complex, and a symphony of problem--how do we expand on this, and maximize the opportunities when we have a caller on the line?
  2. Payment Disruption - Are we maximizing the opportunities of lost, missed, and disrupted payments? When it comes to payments, there are unlimited possibilities for failed, lost, and misguided payments at the micro, monthly, and random levels.
  3. General Errors - Mobile and web-based errors are not a problem, they are an opportunity. There is no limit to the number of, and the barrage of errors that users experience--make the most of this.
  4. Info / Alert Overload - The number of emails, SMS, and social notifications we receive on a daily basis is already exploited by default. Like errors, this is an opportunity, not a problem, and should be exploited at every turn.
  5. Microservice Exploitation - As the platform evolves and expands its own base, there lies an opportunity for efficiency, as well as disruption. There is a movement going on to decouple infrastructure, and while this is a window for better delivery of services, it is also a window of opportunity to better impact the overall quality of service for specific individuals.

If you are receving this message, you've been briefed. This is not your usual system upgrade, yet the upgrade to ensure the system you expect for our targeted customer base. This is not about the deliver of our services as promised, but to deliver the quality of service expected in the shadow of the Affordable Care Act (ACA), aka ObamaCare.

The objective of this release is about the long term, establishment of our company within the industry, and disrupting Obamacare. it is about instilling the hatred of the mandate imposed upon the American people. It is about changing the belief that universal healthcare will save us, and return us back to the formal glory of the US healthcare system, guded by the caring hand of the insurance industry.

This update is not about disrupting the system, it is about exposing the flaws of government regulation, and the lack of belief in the markets to take care of the people. This is the about striking the algorithmic blaance necessary to bring harmony to our healthcare system in the United States, and beyond.

I Just Need A Place To Stay Until My House Opens Back Up Next Week After The AirBnB Renters Leave #DesignFiction

Can I just stay for 5 nights at your place? My remote access will let me back in, once the maid is done cleaning the house, and the AirBnB guests have left. My mortgage is tied to my AirBnB profile, and I haven't met my quota for the month. 

If I have my house listed, and nobody rents it, they let it slide, but if I don't even list my place, and I do not generate the revenue set out in my mortgage, they can deny me entry. The stupid thing is, after the next tenants, I will have brought in enough to meet the requirements--the algorithm just doesn't take into consideration upcoming bookings.

It was the only way I could get a house so close to the ocean, all the affordable places, have AirBnB incentives built into their purchase package. When places are in high rental areas, the real estate investors snatch them up, and make them available for very favorable rates, as long as you agree to meeting a minimum amount of rental days.

I'll make sure this doesn't happen again, its just that Annie and I haven't gotten along lately, and I have felt like renting it. I'll spend time crashing at my parents house if necessary. I appreciate you letting me stay, until I get let back into the house. Oh yeah, can I borrow a backpack, because I left the house without mine. ;-(

Our Photo Obfuscation as a Service Will Provide You The Criminal Leads You Will Need #DesignFiction

We specialize in crafting Software as a Service (SaaS) that targets specific groups. All you need is a specific topic that is of interest to the group, then we build in as much of our proprietary capabilities as we can, to help law enforcement around the globe generate the criminal leads they need.

Our photo obfuscation as a service is an excellent example of this in action. The web site, and supporting Facebook and mobile applications, are purposely designed with a look & feel that appeals to the targeted underground market. This software implementation performs one service, the taking of photos, and then we apply visual obfuscation filters to the picture. 

As each user plays with filters, they are educated how each one will help them hide from security cameras, facial recognition, and sensor technology, making it harder for law enforcement to track them. The focus of the service is to obfuscate the way you look online, catering to the fear our target demographic experiences daily, establishing a digital honey pot for insecure criminals.

While the honey pot service will not work for all criminals, the not-so-smart ones will use the service, and as part of the apply filter portion of the process, we will keep the original photo, link to the obfuscated photo, providing a searchable media set for you to use in other law enforcement surveillance systems. Along with the photos, we provide other relevant meta data including location, camera, and any audio we capture during the session--providing as complete picture as possible.

Our historical data demonstrates  a 75% demographic target success rate with our SaaS solutions. Our photo obfuscation as a service achieves a record 85% hot lead status, meaning 85% of those looking to obfuscate they online identity, will create a crime within the next year. For some reasons criminals still want to use their own likeness, but are also easily entertained by digital parlor tricks, as part of their overall criminal repetoire.

Take a test drive today!

Drone Strikes Against Unregistered Drone Operators #DesignFiction

It has been two years since the FAA began requiring drone operators to register their drones, and with only about 30% registration rate, the government agency is having to change it strategy. With the heightened danger of drone operators getting in the way of commercial flights, violating secure airspace, and numerous other scenarios we've seen play out in the last two, serious action is warranted.

Using a proprietary tracking technology developed by WaldoTech Inc., the FAA can now triangulate the location of unregistered drone operators, who's devices have been confiscated, and send in a retaliatory drone strike. These drone strikes are non-lethal, using a concussive charge, which takes out a 15 foot radius, around drone operators who are found in violation. 

"The public seems ready for more decisive action on the subject of Drones", said Director of Drone Registry Nicolas Hildebrandt. "Nobody is getting hurt, and we are sending a strong message". Contrasting Hildenbrandt's position, John Van Pelt, of the popular drone magazine DRONE, said "YOU ARE F**CKING TARGETING US CITIZENS WITH DRONE STRIKES!!!"--demonstrating the polarization that exists around the issue of domestic, civilian drones.

Part of the requirements of the new unregistered domestic drone strike program will be transparency. All strikes will be reported by government agencies within 72 hours, with full details of arrests made in response. After six months of operation the program is required to submit a full report on successes and failures, and if  50% registration is not achieved, the program will be re-evaluated.

If you have any further questions, please use the feedback form on the website.

The Internet of Things Device Auto Registration Network #APIDesignFiction

We are a network of Internet of Things (IoT) device registration platforms. We all operate for different purposes. Some of us are looking to be drone or surveillance camera registries, while others are looking to provide access to weather, agricultural, or other environmental devices. The one common thread that binds us, we are all providing much needed registries for the growing number of devices that are being connected to the internet.

Depending on the industry we operate in, device registration is mandatory, or optional. While we do have manual registration solutions, which run as ready to single page applications as a service (SPAaaS), over 75% of registrations come in through auto-registration when devices are setup and activated. The popularity of auto-registration of devices in heavily regulated industries, and spawned a wave of auto-registration also being used in non-regulated industries.

Manufacturers have seen the value of IoT registries, and seen the benefit auto-registration plays when it comes establishing a much more engage device operator or consumer, but also that other 3rd opportunities available through our network of platforms. Resulting in a number of reasons why IoT device auto registration networks are working.

As soon as a device is plugged in, it registers itself with the network of choice, seeded by the manufacturer, but ultimately the choice of the device operator. This means the device is discoverable as part of the device operators network, and the larger regulated or unregulated industry it exists within. If a device operator chooses, the device can also be discoverable by a wider ecosystem of 3rd party providers who operate via the network of directories. 

With all devices accounted for, the chances of devices operating with out of date software, vulnerabilities, and rogue devices from illegal manufacturers has been reduced to less than 10% of available Internet enabled devices. A registered device, has changed the IoT security discussion, and while challengers of this approach says it violates privacy, we feel it reduces the chance of exploitation, back doors, and unsecured devices operating on the open Internet. 

Auto registration has allowed government regulators to get a handle on the fastest growing spaces like drones and surveillance cameras, enabling law enforcement to levy increasingly heavier fines for unregistered devices. In 2020, devices do not come to live, and connect to the Internet without having proof of registration--giving local, state, and federal government an unprecedented window into consumer, commercial, and industrial level device usage across many industries.

Consumer, corporate, institutional, and government device operators are held accountable as part of modern IoT device registration operations. If your drone is involved in the damage of property, or violation of privacy, you are held accountable. Device manufacturers who do not institute auto registration upon activation, have sanctions applied, not allowing them to see certain funding opportunities, or operate within specific jurisdictions.

The presence of the IoT device registration network has made the general public feel much better about the growth in popularity of Internet connected devices. It has also increased the overhead for manufacturers, and made privacy advocates more concerned about who watches the watchers, but the good brought by the network has outweighed the bad so far.

In 2021 and 2022, we are moving beyond justifying the need for IoT device registration, and addressing concerns for auto registration, and moving to more of a focus on transparency and privacy across all networks, and device operation. With all of the data we have on what IoT devices are in operation around the globe, and even in space, there is an unprecedented opportunity to help stabilize this fast growing layer of the Internet that is impacting our personal and professional lives.

If you are a device manufacturer and would like more information on registration for your device let us know. If you would like to see a registration network exist for an existing device category, please let us know--make sure you look through the forum first, and ensure work is not already in progress on such an effort.

You Have Had Three Security Strikes, Hand Over Your Data Storage Operations For 12 Months Plus Probation #APIDesignFiction

Your company has had its third strike. Your first security breach was in January of 2018, with the second only six months later in June, and the last came in February of 2019. Your company has shown that it just doesn't have what it takes to secure your users data, and there we are going to need you to have over the keys for your data storage, for a 12 month period. 

During this time, you will access your company data via APIs, that are monitored via a professional data management organization, as well as state and federal auditors to make sure all required security and privacy procedures are followed. All server, database, and storage operating procedures will be documented, and shared with your organization when the 12 month period is complete.

We have assessed that 60% of your infrastructure uses APIs, so the switch-over to the new infrastructure will not be that difficult. Your company will have 45 days to accomplish the other 40% of refactoring all your software to use APIs. Part of your illness within your organization was that this 40% of your operations was technical debt that your organization refused to bring up to speed--resulting in several large breaches. 

When we hand your data storage infrastructure back to you, we will audit for another 18 month period to ensure you are practicing a 100% API strategy, as well as end-to-end encryption, making sure it is applied for all servers, storage, and in transit using SSL. During this 18 month period our auditors will assess whether you have the resources to bring your operations up to an acceptable level. If you do not meet requirements, the period can be extended, or your infrastructure can be ordered back into a forced-management situation again.

If you have any questions, please contact your case manager, and your IT operations manager will be in touch shortly with more details on the coming transition period.

API Evangelist Was Acquired By Lucifer Enterprises Incorporated For $1M+Soul #APIDesignFiction

Los Angeles, CA: One of the leading API focused analyst and blogging networks, API Evangelist was acquired by the #1 enterprise software development company today for a total of $1M cash, and a 2.5 lease on soul of the founder Kin Lane (@kinlane). Unfortunately, as the founder Kin Lane was leaving the enterprise in 2010, he made a deal with Lucifer Enterprises Inc. that he could make a difference in the world—only partially delivering on this promise, an acquisition was inevitable.

From the outside perspective, and untrained eye, nothing will change on API Evangelist. However in reality, nothing that is said, will be as it seems. Up will be down, left will be right, REST will be SOAP, and XML will be JSON. Honestly, you should never have believed what you have read anywhere not he Internet, but you can be guaranteed it will all be complete bullshit from here on out, on API Evangelist.

The acquisition of API Evangelist is a reminder that everything is for sale. Nothing is sacred, and the only constant is that things will change. A five year run, is much longer than could have been be expected, and we should be thankful for any little bit of value we got out of API Evangelist. It was just a matter of time before the enterprise space set its sights on API Evangelist, let alone the founder would sell out so high up the food chain—straight to the devil himself.

Reality Show Surveillance Package: Why Pay For Security, When We Can Pay You? #DesignFiction

In 2020, why would you go with any of the mainstream home security providers? The RealityCom Reality Show Surveillance Package is tailored perfectly for the modern family. We do not just keep your family safe 247/7, we also help amplify the most important aspects of your life, and share with family and friends, and even the public.

Our critics call us a "modern surveillance apparatus", but these people live in the past. Privacy is a concept of the last century, and the modern family has embraced being not just a consumption family, but also contributing, and participating in the best reality programming out there. The most efficient, and cost effective way to keep your family safe and sounds, is through what we call "transparent living", where your home, possessions, and love ones are all monitored, and plugged into the RealityCom Security Network.

When our security production staff also finds an interesting scenario, our programming staff is notified, and we take the family moment, and streamed in near real-time to the audience of your choosing. Using the transparent living technology platform, you get to share with family, friends, and when we identify it as a quality moment of programming, we will pay you for the media and content--if your family becomes viral success, we pay you exponentially more, depending on the attention your family comands.

Not every family becomes a paid RealityCom Family, but you will not know if you have what it takes unless you get started with your Reality Show Surveillance Package. The best part is it is all free. We come out and install all the equipment, maintain all equipment, and store all the video, audio, and other content at no cost to you. You get modern home, auto, and work security for you and your family, for FREE! It doesn't get any better than this, sign up to day, so we can get started with your installation.

We Have Won Through Their Own Fear And Love Of Technology #DesignFiction

We have all but won the great war against the United States. Their own fear set into motion their downfall, and proved what an inferior society they really are. Through technology we are able to scale up the war, with very little casualties of our own people.

It all began with their cultural shift back to supporting individual gun ownership. The illness and fear that is American gun ownership peaked in 2018 with a series of mass shootings, resulting in over 80% individual gun ownership across the country. The new gun ownership pushed fear to new levels, making every US city a tinderbox for terrorism.

In the early days we needed one martyr, and at least five to ten "mimics" to incite an attack. We would target a public place, usually in smaller to mid-sized towns, and a team would find an adequate public location with 20 or more people, and the martyr would yell out death to the infidels (or some other war cry), hold their finger up like they had a gun, and the Americans would do the rest.

In about 50% of the situations, the Americans would shoot each other, or once law enforcement arrived they wouldn't be able to tell anyone apart and chaos would ensue. We quickly learned the importance of "mimics" who would position themselves behind average citizens who had guns, and after shots were fired, they'd yell whatever was said by the martyr behind an average citizen--resulting in others thinking they were a bad guy. 

In such a climate of fear, it is easy to make others think anyone is a bad guy, by mimicking the bad guy everyone just witnessed. You do this five to ten times in a crowded, then lay down on the ground, and the fearful Americans do the rest. As a mimic, it helps if you choose to stand behind someone who doesn't look white, it really doesn't matter which race, white people can't tell the difference and will shoot at any brown person with a gun.

In 2020, we are finding that we now do not need mimics. Through carefully placed or hacked mobile devices, we can make any cell phone do the work of a mimic. We are also now testing our new martyr devices that can tell when someone has stood up in a crowded room, and blast a common war cry, and people begin shooting. If you trigger half of the devices in any classroom or public location to do the same, anyone with a gun will begin shooting.

It has never been easier to fly into America if you do not have a gun. We have our jihadest placed all around the country, and we are looking to triple the number of attacks we accomplished in 2019. Fear in the United States is at an all time high, everyone has a gun, and they will do all the work for us. We find it harder to accomplish our attacks bigger cities, because gun ownership seems to lower, but we have no problem killing 20-50 people in any small town across the country.

With sustained attacks throughout the year, and our regular cyberattacks on the financial, and government systems of the country, we should have sufficiently weaked the United States, and prepared for phase two our plan by 2022.

Our DNA-Based Software Defined Network (SDN) Routing Is Ready For The Next Phase #DesignFiction

We could route based upon any single persons DNA, but in reality most traffic is routed based upon groups of people. All modern routers, whether at the data center, or ISP level, all now have the capacity for deploying DNA SDN, something that has been in place for almost five years, but we have yet to fully realize, until now.

There was no clear path for how we could route Internet traffic based upon data, until we studied all of the traffic. At first we felt, it would take a year, but once we started analyzing, we realized we would need a larger network dataset. Really we could have done it with a 12 month dataset, but we saw DNA spoofing and other anomalies that concerned us early on, and now we are happy took the time we did.

We knew that people fake their online personas, but did not anticipate the level to which people would be able to falsify their DNA data. The second part of our early concern was around understanding  how our partners would interpret the data, and want global Internet traffic prioritized, and routed. The motivations for falsifying your DNA, as well as prioritizing traffic proved to evolve in near real-time, something that has proven our case for the ability to push all routing decisions to the router level.

Now that we have 100% switch penetration, a deep understand around how people falsify their DNS, and what the exceptions and needs of our partners are (including the federal government), we are fully equipped for the next phase of the project. Our DNA SDN work make early concerns around net neutrality a juvenile wet dream, as we now how the control to make decisions in real time around how Internet traffic flows, not just at a technical level, but providing the true linkage between humans and the Internet via our most fundamental building block, DNA.

Our 3rd Generation Smart Keg is More Social Than Previous Versions #DesignFiction

Hi there, I'm Pliny the Elder Keg #18, also known as Nick. I'm a 3rd generation smart keg who was just tapped, and ready to party. The usual lifespan of any tapped keg of Pliny the Elder is 72 hours, and I intend to make the most of my time here on earth. 

I'm connecting you via Facebook, because you've enjoyed Pliny on tap in the neighborhood before, and I consider you a friend of the brewery. As of 4PM today, I am on tap at Joeys Pub on 4th and Broadway. If for some reason you can't make it this week let me know, and I'll pass your information on to future generations, and if they are tapped in your neighborhood, we will let you know.

Also make sure and follow me on Twitter, as I'll be Tweeting out some deals tonight. The more you engage on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, the more I'll include you in future keg announcements and discussions. You can email, Tweet, and FB message with me just like you could any other friend, and I'll respond--while each keg is unique, we share a collective memory, and we never forget our friends.

You are one of only 23 people I've contacted today, so make sure you come visit tonight, because tomorrow might be too late. Make sure you bring your friend Sam, and Mary, as they seemed to have a blast three weeks ago at Joey's Pub, and I can tell Mary has had a particularly bad week, and could use a pick-me-up.

We'll see you at Joey's dude -- your friend Nck (Pliny the Elder Keg #18). 

An Always Shifting Business Focus When You Are Part Of Real-Time Regulation Brigade #APIDesignFiction

Application Programming Interfaces, or APIs, have always been a staple in the regulatory toolbox, but I am really impressed with API regulation in the last 18 months, spearheaded by the real-time regulation brigade (RRB). The RRB is an inter-agency group, that doesn't just establish how the government puts APIs to work in regulating all industries, but rather than operating in years, or quarters, it produces real-time, ongoing information on how industries and companies are working (or not).

I'm in charge of business pattern identification and replication, which means I identify the bar for what a common business looks like, when it comes to API consumption. You see, companies learned early on in the API regulatory years, who the regulators were, and who weren't, allowing them to tweak the algorthms to give different results depending on who is consuming via the APIs.

Our group's mission is to help our regulators act just as any regular customer would, consumign data, content, and other resources via banking, stock, and insurance APIs, allowing regulators to hide among the thousands of other regular customers. In 2026, we have be able to operate like we are a real business, with a real website, physical address, to be able to pass the inspection of the average regulated company. Otherwise our footprint looks like any other bot, or regulator, allowing companies to serve us tailored response, and sidestep our regulatory power.

15% of all companies who operate in any regulated industry are actually a business that is tailored, and operated as part of RRB operations. We regularly shutdown, and sell our companies to each other, making it look like they are real, even when they go away. We are always finding new, leading edge business footprints, requiring us to start approximately 300 new business in any given week, across a couple hundred industries. 

While APIs radically changed how we regulate in 2018, in the last five years, regulation has become more of a cat and mouse game of API driven patterns. We can tell when a company identifies one of our shell companies, and begins changing their tune--the signals change. I see all of this as a game, where the RRB has to stay in tune with the latest patterns, and construct companies that put out just the right signals, in just the right way, so that regulated companies think we are their friend, ally, and potentially even a partner when we can.

The always shifting landscape of regulation in the modern age is what keeps my team engaged. Other groups enjoy the stability that regulation brings to industry, but our group thrives on the volatility and constant change introduced by having to stay three steps of ahead of the most savviest platforms in the new global API economy.